


Are There Not Enough Angels For Us

by virvatulilla



Series: Short stories about wings [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Suicide, Wings, there is a relationship but the main focus is on other things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 00:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11047101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virvatulilla/pseuds/virvatulilla
Summary: Angels are considered to be a bad thing in this one. Steampunk-ish setting





	Are There Not Enough Angels For Us

The soles of my feet slam against the ground, making my whole body feel the impact. I'm at my limit, but stopping is out of the question. If I stopped, my pursuer would catch me. I think I can her the sound of its huge wings behind me, but when I dare to glance over my shoulder, there's no one there.

The angel probably gave up the pursuit, because I'm already close to the city. Had it been night, it might have followed me into the city, but during the day angels are careful not to approach human cities.

I stop to catch my breath next to the first proper building, and lean on its wall, taking heavy breaths. The gun I'm still squeezing in my right hand feels as if it is glued to my leather glove. As it gets easier to breathe I start walking towards the center of the city. I have to get a cup of coffee.

As I'm walking towards the center I admit to myself that it was foolhardy to go test the new weapon alone outside the city. I had to go outside the city, because Arley wants to keep the special functions secret until he gets a patent, but going alone was my idea. I left so early in the morning that Sylvester wasn't awake yet. In a stroke of tenderness I left my twin brother to sleep knowing that going alone would put my life at risk.

I quietly open our narrow front door. It's quiet inside, nobody seems to be awake yet. I set my keys on the table in the vestibule and stop to look at my reflection in the big mirror on the other wall. My dark brown curls are for once in a mess like a boy's hair, and if I had smaller breasts I could have passed as a boy in the streets – I borrowed my clothes mainly from my boyfriend Ezra, not counting the vest and bracers that I made myself.

I take off my boots to change into fluffy slippers, and pad into the kitchen to put the coffee kettle on. Grinding the coffee beans is a task for the nights, which my big sister Felicia luckily does conscientiously. It smells of corn muffins when I open the bread oven hatch.

My miscellaneous family has lived in this house since our parents died. Our father's cousin Milton and his wife Cathy took me, my twin brother Sylvester, and my big sister Felicia under their wing when our parents lost their lives. In addition to us there's the twins Morris and Muriel who are three years younger than me, and had just been adopted to our family before the accident. Our new big brother Arley proved to be a brilliant inventor, and I still admire him. Nowdays there's also our ten-year-old little brother Elwin, and a six-year-old little sister Georgina.

The first time I met Ezra was through Arley when I was only six years old, but we started dating only a couple of years ago. He is currently living with us, because his parents are away and don't trust him enough to leave him home alone.

As the smell of coffee and fresh muffins spreads into the house my family starts to come to the kitchen from their rooms. The first to appear is Sylvester, who hasn't even bothered putting on a dressing gown before coming to breakfast. Right after him comes Arley, who looks like he's been up all night again.

“How did the testing go?” Arley asks when he sees me. I've managed to let go of the gun, and it's lying in the middle of the table, shimmering bronze.

“Badly,” I say as I'm pouring coffee into Sylvester's cup. “I didn't have the heart to wake Sylvester up, so I went alone.”

Arley gives me a stern look over his corn muffin. “You know you shouldn't leave the city by yourself.”

“I know, I know,” I sigh. “I just didn't think anything would happen since I had your gun and all. The problem was that your gun only made a lot of noise, which attracted an angel. Don't worry, it didn't catch me,” I add quickly, when both boys look at me alarmed.

“You should've just woken me up,” Sylvester growls. “Or Ezra. Or you could've taken a gun that _works_ , just in case.”

“I did have this,” I say as I pull a iron spike from my bracer. They are the kind you usually see priests have during ritual murders, but somehow Arley got hold of a couple of them and suggested them to be a self-defence device against the angels.

Arley scoffs. “That alone isn't enough,” he says. “You should carry a sturdier gun with you.”

“Stella doesn't need guns, because she has fast legs.”

Our heads turn towards the door, where Ezra has appeared during our conversation. His black curls are perfect, like always, and he looks at me with the his gray eyes that probably see all the way into my heart. I get up and greet him with a light kiss on the cheek. Ezra wraps his hands around my waist and for a while we just stand there.

“Get a room,” Sylvester says eventually.

Ezra laughs. “In that case you could simply change places with me,” he says teasingly, sitting next to Sylvester and pulling me into his lap. One condition for him staying with us was that I wouldn't sleep in the same foom with him, which is why Sylvester had to give him his bed and now sleeps with me in my double bed.

“You know what Cathy would think of that if she learned of it when they come home.”

This time it was Felicia. Her perfect curls are gathered in a bun, and her whole being is perfect even that time in the morning. On her heels come Elwin and Georgina, who look like they're half asleep but still start eating the muffins like they've never seen food before. “I guess Morris and Muriel stayed up late again,” Felicia sighs, sitting down. “Noise from their room woke me up in the middle of the night, but I fell asleep shortly after that. And they're not awake yet – for me this is a second breakfast.”

“Not everyone likes waking up as early as you,” Sylvester comments over the edge of his coffee cup.

Then Morris appears to the door. As soon as I see him I realize something is wrong. Morris's eyes are huge and he looks like as if he'd seen an angel. Only when Morris steps inside the room I realize Muriel is not with him.

Nobody dares to ask Morris what has happened, and so we wait in silence for him to sit down beside the table. When he gets a cup of coffee in front of him he almost starts to cry.

“They came in the night,” Morris says in a hoarse whisper. “I don't know what they wanted from her, but when I woke up Muriel was sitting on the windowsill. I tried to get her away from them, but I tripped and the dressing table fell on me. When I got up, Muriel was gone.”

I look at Arley, who shrugges. “Who took her?” I ask cautiously. “Did you see their faces?”

Morris looks at me his eyes round as an owl's, and a shiver travels along my spine. “They weren't humans. Muriel was taken by _angels_.”

The silence in the room could be cut with a knife, it's almost as if nobody dares to breathe. Eventually Sylvester breaks the silence. “We have to get Muriel back,” he states and glances me. I nod. “Where do the angels live?” I ask.

“You are not going there,” Arley says solemnly. “The place where all of the angels in this region live? Not going to happen.”

“Come on, Arley,” Sylvester says. “We have to save Muriel from them.”

Arley shakes his head. “As the oldest in the house I am responsible for you. Do you seriously think I would let you go by yourselves to an unmapped territory? Nobody leaves anywhere without me.”

I give Sylvester a smile, and he grins back at me. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as I finish everything,” Arley says, throwing the last pieces of his muffin in his mouth. “Would you help me with this, Ezra?”

“Only if I get to come with you,” Ezra says, putting his chin on my shoulder. “It's been too long since the last time I was outside this city.”

“Great,” Felicia huffs. “You are going on an adventure and I'm staying home to look after the kids.”

Arley gives Felicia a sharp look. “And here I though Scott wanted you to have a wedding, not a funeral,” he says as he stands up.

I look from Arley to Felicia, who has lowered her gaze to hide her blush. “Wait a minute,” I say slowly. “You told me you didn't like Scott.”

Scott is a boy whose affections Felicia refused years ago. I thought they stayed strictly friends after that, but apparently Scott made my sister convinced of his suitability.

“I didn't want the whole city to know,” Felicia retorts, raising her hands protectively on her stomach. “You would've told everyone you met how shamefully I've acted.”

I put my hand on Ezra's hand on my shoulder and say nothing. Felicia scoffs. “I am aware of how shameful you two are, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to be a decent person. Besides, Scott proposed to me.”

“Can I be a bridesmaid?” Georgina says, eyes sparkling. Felicia smiles at her. “Let's see,” she says. “We have planned to have the wedding this summer.”

“Are you coming, Ezra?” Arley called from the corridor. “Halv of the working guns need assembling.”

I get up from Ezra's lap so that he could get up from the table. However, he turns me around and pulls me back into his lap. “He can wait for two seconds,” Ezra says with a crooked smile when he pulls me into a kiss.

 

It's our second night on the way. Arley is already asleep on one side of the campfire, when the rest of us keep watch lest the angels sneak up on us. On the day we departed we didn't even see a glimpse of an angel even though Arley and Ezra took the trouble of flying above the forest with the flying device they have built. The second day, when we got deeper into the forest, we started seeing them. First a couple of lonely ones, then in pairs, and eventually we saw a whole flock of them flying above the trees. They stayed away for a while, then flying back and forth four times after that. Arley said they probably knew we were closing in on their nest, but to me it looked like they were searching for something.

“That searching definitely meant something,” Ezra mutters to me when we sit by the fire with our heads together. He shares my opinion on the angels' motive to fly above the forest with so large numbers without attacking us.

“I wonder if they're looking for one of us,” I say, frowning. “I've heard talk that the angels take away everyone who kills themselves, but Muriel wasn't dead.”

“Are you sure?” Ezra whispers. “What if she, say, poisoned herself?”

“But if she was dead, how did Morris see her sitting on the windowsill?”

“We don't know how angels function,” Ezra admits. “Maybe Muriel was going to jump from the window, and the angels came for her before she died.”

I scoff. “Rather, they waited for her to jump and then took away the body.”

“In this chain of reasoning I'm just worried which one of us is dying, if the angels come for people who are about to meet their end.”

“It's not me,” I whisper emphatically when Ezra gives me a questioning look. “And I don't believe Arley has time to feel down with all his inventions–”

“–and it's not me either,” Ezra finishes. Both of us turn to look at Sylvester, who is staring at the fire and twirling a long knife in his hands.

I look at Ezra with worry. “You should ask him what's wrong,” I say quietly. “You can do anything that makes his thoughts– that the angels wouldn't follow him anymore.”

Ezra nods. I watch him gesturing to Sylvester to come with him and the two of them disappear into the shadows of the forest. I wait for a while, but the forest's silence makes me nervous, and I have to follow them. When I reach the place where they stopped, for a moment I don't know what to think, but when jealousy takes over I can't stop myself.

“What the hell!?”

Ezra quickly pulls away from Sylvester, but it didn't change what I already saw: my boyfriend and my twin brother _kissing_. I march straight to Ezra and hit him with the back of my palm in the face. From the corner of my eye I see Sylvester, who has fled back and dropped on the ground.

“How could you?” I roar to Ezra's face. “How can you _do_ this to me?”

“What was I supposed to do?” Ezra shouts back at me. “That– it wasn't my idea! I did what he wanted only because you said I can do anything to make him think about something else!”

“It wasn't Ezra's fault,” Sylvester interrupts before I can answer. I turn towards him. The anger makes my face feel hot. “Are you saying you made Ezra kiss you?” I hiss between my teeth trying not to shout or burst into tears.

Sylvester nods slowly, and it feels like my heart has turned into lead. I step towards Sylvester with the intention of shaking some sense into his head, but I stop when I see a gun in his shaky hands. I put my hands up. “If you hurt me, I will tell everyone what you did,” I spit. “I can't forgive you for doing this.”

A airy smile spreads on Sylvester's face. “I'm sorry, Stella,” he whispers. “I'm in love with him. I knew you would hate me because of that, so… this is _the only option_.”

If Sylvester wasn't pointing a gun at me, I would rush to him and do something, anything, so I wouldn't have to hear those words. I feel Ezra holding me in place, when I see in slow motion Sylvester raising his face towards the sky that can be seen between the trees. He presses the gun barrel under his chin and–

“SYLVESTER!”

– pulls the trigger.

 

I'm whispering my brother's name like it was a spell: ”Sylvester. Sylvester. Sylvester,” as if it would bring him to life. I'm rocking from side to side, holding his limp upper body thightly, not caring that my clothes and hands are drenched with blood. Sylvester's eyes are still open. Ezra would have closed them, but I didn't let him come close to my brother. I press my hand gently on Sylvester's cheek. His skin feels cold to my fingers.

I chant Sylvester's name and squeeze my eyes shut, but it doesn't help. Despite that I feel blood drying on my skin and my brother's unmoving body in my arms. When I open my eyes, Sylvester hasn't moved. He's pale as a sheet and his eyes are still staring at the star-filled sky.

After a while I put him on the ground and bury my face into his bloody shirt. After staying there for a time that feels like forever I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. “Go away, Ezra,” I mutter without raising my head.

“You should get up, dear,” a gentle voice says. I get up, detaching myself from Sylvester, because the speaker definitely isn't Ezra. In front of me, crouching on the other side of Sylvester's body there is an angel.

“What are you doing to my brother?” I cry, reaching for the spike in my bracer when the angel lays a hand on Sylvester's forehead, not even glancing at me when it closes his eyes. “We are giving him a new chance,” it finally says. “A better life.”

“That can't be,” I whisper. “He's– he's dead.”

The angel looks at me and tilts its head. “He killed himself, just like your sister did,” it says. “It's not exactly the same thing as dying.”

“Can I come with him?” I ask when the angel lifts Sylvester's unmoving body into its arms. “He shouldn't live separated from me. He'll come to me right away when he wakes up if you don't take me as well.”

The angel looks at me with weary eyes. “It doesn't work that way,” it says. “You're not dying. And don't worry about your brother. He will get a better life, he won't remember you.”

I can't get a word out of my mouth and when the angel sets off with Sylvester in its arms my feet give up below me. After a while I feel Ezra next to me. Neither of us says anything, and I don't resist when he picks me up.

“What happened? What did I miss?” Arley asks when Ezra puts me to sit beside the campfire.

“It's alright, it's not my blood,” I say quietly, when Arley kneels in front of me. “What happened?” he repeats. “Did you see angels? Where is Sylvester?”

I shake my head and grab Ezra's sleeve. He sits next to me, wrapping his strong arms around me. I lean my head on Ezra's shoulder when he tells Arley through gritted teeth what happened. When Ezra stops talking everyone is silent. Ezra wipes a tear from his cheek.

“I understand,” Arley whispers after a while. “I wouldn't acted the same way, but I probably understand why he did it. But well, at least now we know how futile it was to come here.”

“I hope you don't mean what I think you mean,” Ezra says quietly. Arley looks up from the ground, taken aback. “What do you mean?” he asks. “If both Muriel and Sylvester get a new shot at life, wouldn't it be better for them if we didn't try to rescue them?”

“That's not what he meant,” I say quietly. “I'm with you on that, but I think Ezra meant to ask if you… like him as well.”

If I wasn't feeling so bad I would've laughed at Arley's expression. “What? No,” he says as if the answer was obvious. “I thought you of all people should know by now that I don't have feelings for much else than inventions.”

“Well, what are we going to do now?” Ezra asks. “Do we just go back home and say we couldn't do anything?”

Arley nods. “It's the only option. I believe that the only way to attract the antels' attention is that one of us tries to kill themselves, and I don't want anyone to die– what is it, Stella? Did I say something wrong?”

“N-nothing,” I say, wiping tears from my face. They appeared in my eyes on their own. “Sylvester just said that what he did was the only option. I didn't– I didn't want him to _kill_ himself for that! My last words to him were 'I can't forgive you for doing this'.” Tears are falling on my legs, and I didn't try to stop them. “I didn't want Sylvester to…”

My talk halts when Arley pulls me away from Ezra's arms and on his side, sitting next to me. Ezra sits on my other side and wraps Arley's thick cloak on my shoulders. We sit there in silence for so long that the sun begins to shed its yellow beams into the sky behind the forest. Ezra has fallen asleep and snores lightly with his head on my shoulder. However, he bolts awake when two angels land in front of us. When I see them my jaw drops.

Arley stands up carefully. “Muriel?”

Sylvester smiles at me when Arley rushes to hug Muriel. I can't move until Ezra nudges me awake. I dart into Sylvester's arms and squeeze him against myself regardless of the wings on his back or that the image of his empty eyes is still on my retinas every time I close my eyes. He presses his hands in my hair and for a moment I let myself be in my brother's arms without thinking about anything besides the fact that he's alive.

“What happened?” Ezra asks, when I eventually let go of Sylvester. He shrugs. “I would have been brainwashed into forgetting my previous life, but befrore it could happen I recognized Muriel and we escaped together. Nobody started chasing us, so I think that even like this I have the right to choose what to do with my life.” Sylvester smiles and storkes my cheek with the back of his hand, leaning in to whisper to me. “As soon as I woke up I felt you wanted to die, and I couldn't let that happen. What if they hadn't made you into an angel?”

“I'm sorry, Sylvester,” I whisper with tears in my eyes. “I didn't want anything to happen you, I–”

“Don't care about that now,” Sylvester says and presses his forehead against mine. “For me it's enough that I have you.”

I bury my face into Sylvester's shoulder. I feel his breath on my neck and hear his heartbeat. He's alive and I don't dare let go of him lest he didn't disappear again.

 

“People!”

Muriel lands on the balcony and Morris jumps down from her back. “They're probably from a nearby city,” he says, “and they're not far away.”

“It's good they were spotted this fast,” I say to Sylvester as we hurry to close all shutters that have been covered with a camouflage tarpaulin Arley invented. They cover the whole house, concealing it from view. If you don't know the exact location of the house it's practically impossible to find it.

“Now we just have to hope Arley is right about the camouflage being durable,” Ezra says from behind me when I close the last shutters. “Maybe last night's heavy rain ruined the whole thing.”

I twirl around with a smile. “I hope it isn't Arley who's coming,” I say with a laugh when Ezra pulls me close to him. “Last time when he came to visit he threatened to bring Felicia's whole family with him.”

In our hideout in the middle of the forest besides me live only Ezra, Sylvester, Morris and Muriel. We didn't care to find out what the others would think of the wings on Sylvester and Muriel's backs. Arley is the only one outside of our household that knows anything about what happened to them.

“Anyone would be better than Felicia,” Ezra laughs. “She would gossip to everyone she knows about her little sister's relationship.”

“I think you mean our relationship,” I say. “And you're the weird one here, I'm not the one dating twins. And I haven't even kissed anyone but you in this relationship.”

“Well that's done in a second,” Sylvester says, stepping inside the room. “Is that what you've wanted the whole time? I didn't quite catch your hint.”

I spring towards Sylvester, but he escapes my reach with jumping lightly over me and landing next to Ezra. “It's my turn,” he says, wrapping his hands around Ezra's waist and giving him a small kiss on the cheek. Ezra looks at me, and I nod with a smile. Ezra lifts Sylvester in his arms as if he didn't weigh much anything. As long as they've had wings Sylvester and Muriel have weighed considerably less than before. I suspect they have to, to make flying easier.

Sylvester kisses Ezra, and I watch them with a smile, leaning on the doorframe. “You were wrong, by the way,” I say after a moment.

“What do you mean?” Sylvester asks, looking at me.

“Your solution wasn't the only option.”

Sylvester smiles slightly. “I know,” he says, “but I had to do it. Wasn't it easier to learn how much something is worth when you lost it?”

Ezra puts Sylvester on the floor and both of them extend a hand towards me. I give a small laugh, but grab both hands and slip between them. Their arms wrap around me. I close my eyes when Sylvester surrounds us all with his wings.

“I just hope this really is a better life for you,” I whisper quietly. Sylvester smirks. “If it wasn't, what would I be doing here?”

Sylvester lets go of us and srokes my hair. Then he turns around and walks to the window. “They have passed this place,” he announces and opens the shutters, climbing into the window.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

Sylvester flashes me a reassuring smile over his shoulder. “Nowhere,” he answers and jumps down. Me and Ezra run to the window to see him spread his wings and rise up to the sky.

I turn towards Ezra, who is frowning. “He's coming back, right?” he asks.

I nod and smile. “Of course he will,” I say and kiss Ezra.

“I guess this isn't a life many others would have chosen,” I say after a while, “but to me it's the most important thing to stay with both you and Sylvester as long as I live. Sylvester thinks I'm weird to think like that.”

“I love you too, Stella,” Ezra laughs.


End file.
